How to Make August More Enjoyable
August is one of just two months in the glaringly intolerable year, the other being February. February is absurd because it’s so cold that your face feels like it’s about to fall off, then time seems to slow down to the point that the apocalyptic winter feels like it’ll endure forever. August is the opposite of February, it’s so hot that your face feels like it will melt off, and it’s so slow that the apocalyptic summer feels like it will last forever. The month is more than simply a “boring” month (like March or May); it’s an entirely horrible month that has no place existing on the calendar. Sure, it’s part of summer, and that is nice, except that it can’t even save August from being horrendously unpleasant.
There are no special days in August because there are no major holidays, such as Easter or Halloween. There’s nothing to anticipate, and it’s just going to be 31 days of emptiness. August is the wettest, most uncomfortable month, so you’re always wet, and it seems like there’s something in the air that makes breathing difficult. Being outside, as well as being somewhere without air conditioning, is a nightmare.
The month of July is a lot of fun, as its summer, with lots of barbecues with friends, trips to the beach, and sunset drinks on rooftops. However, by August, the excitement has finally worn off, and the heat begins to put a damper on having even more fun. As the pace slows, nostalgia creeps in, and July leaves you with a hangover that was worth it but was still tough to shake. “You will be constantly wet” should be retained for August, but in a gross, unpleasant, sweaty type of manner.
In August, some begin to look forward to the colder weather of September, that Labor Day weekend, the start of the football season, Halloween in October, as well as the beautiful holidays that wraps up the year. Making preparations for these months is full of joy and whimsy, but it’s all tinged with the dread of still needing to get through August before things can be nice again. Some stores begin launching their autumn collections in mid to late July. That means we start shopping for excellent fall gear for two months (or more, depending on how heavy the apparel is) before we can realistically expect to wear it. It’s terrible to look at lovely new jackets hanging in your closet knowing that if you try to wear them, you’ll sweat right through them, melt, as well as dissolve into a puddle forever.
You can’t take a day off in August since it’s the only month that doesn’t have a legitimate holiday. Instead, the previous months have pushed all the hollow festivities they didn’t want upon this frail sister. Carpenter Ant Awareness Week, Air Conditioning Appreciation Week, Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist Week, National Religious Software Week. August is the month for these major American festivals. It’s no coincidence that August is National Lazy Day, Relaxation Day, Deadwood Day, and Failures Day.
Despite its slacker image, it is not the most popular vacation month that is July. August isn’t even the warmest month (on the East Coast, at least); July is also the owner of that throne. It is the month when the garden begins to wither, and the beautiful summer days brutally go away. Politics made August, and this same politics has the power to erase it. Bureaucrats in Washington have been telling you how to split up your schedule for far too long.
True August Reform will be difficult to achieve as well as defend, as September as well as July’s particular interests, and harsh concessions will be required. Return the first ten days of August to July, prolonging the holiday season by more than a week. The remaining ten days of August would be claimed by September, appeasing those who can’t wait to get back to work. Labor Day would be ten days sooner, the school year would be extended, and the surge of autumn activities would be accelerated. August will be ten days long, and that’ll suffice, so every summer, we’ll be able to exclaim gleefully, gosh, August flew past this year. The 31st day will be declared as a holiday